slow and gradually change....

I’m so sleepy. I feel like having a lazy evening. My heart is not strong enough to keep myself working hard. I always start doing what I want to do. I tend to run away from things I feel are boring, even though I knew that boring things are important. Learning grammar, using a dictionary, practice of pronunciation, and being careful in my use of English, are important in terms of improving my English, yet my lazy heart often says ‘hey let’s take a break!’  If I didn’t live with Mr.Spinks, my strict English tutor, I would not be writing this composition today.  

On the other hand, I have drawn and painted sceneries, read a newspaper, magazine, and ‘the Great Gatsby’ today, without anyone supervising me. The reason is simple; These are fun, so I like to do them. I read a newspaper and magazine at a café without any pressure. It has become my daily habit. If it is sketches, it is more than a daily habit. I’m addicted to drawing things in my sketchbook. I do feel anxiety when I go out without my sketchbook. I don’t need anyone to tell me to do it, I simply do it. I believe that if I keep working on my sketch journals it might be able to bring me my dream life style, but more than anything, I love to do it.

However, I noticed that my daily habit above was starting to be under pressure. I knew it all began from pushing myself harder. For example, I am just recently feeling comfortable to read more than ten pages per day of an English novel. I read ‘Across the river and into the trees’ before ‘The Great Gatsby’, and it took a long time to read it. I often ran away from Hemingway’s novel written in English and jumped into novels and essays written in Japanese during the last few months. Mr. Spinks asked me ‘have you read Hemingway today?’ almost every day, and my answer was often ‘not yet.’ 

3 years ago, it seemed impossible to enjoy reading newspapers or magazines for me. I often gave up reading before I finished one article, because it was too difficult and too long for me. My former English teacher recommended that I read a newspaper every day.

Drawing and painting were also not my daily habit either. I remember I forced myself to do one sketch every week. It was difficult to follow my rule to achieve goal because sketching was lots of work for me as a lazy person. It was also 3 years ago when I started my life overseas in Tasmania. I carried my sketchbook only on weekends and I sometimes came back home without filling any pages of the sketchbook. 3years- actually 3 and a half years- practice has definitely improved my skills. It was a slow and gradually change, but things have definitely improved. I know it, but I also know what a lazy person I am. I hope I will keep working on my English.